New Orleans Info

A good friend, upon hearing of my trip to the 2015 itSMF/HDI Fusion Conference in New Orleans next week, decided to provide me with his "Best Things To Do In NOLA" email that he regularly provides to anyone going there.  I wanted to share it with the rest of the Fusion Conference attendees:

Tourist Stuff & General Tips… Just Because

 “To-go cups” and “open container law”… God’s way of saying He loves us. The only rule is no glass on the street (public safety). Most if not all places on Bourbon will have a stack of plastic cups at the door to make life easy if you enjoy drinking but also want to keep moving.

• The National World War II Museum: I have literally spent an entire day here. An incredible experience all around. You will definitely appreciate this more than most people I recommend it to. Also if you do nothing else here and find yourself short on time, do yourself a favor and make sure to see the presentation “Beyond All Boundaries”. It’s a few bucks extra but it all goes to support and maintain the museum, and it’s incredibly well-done.
• Daiquiris - Sold in shops affectionately known as “Daq Shacks”. They come in crazy flavors like “Crawgator”, “Jungle Juice”, and “Antifreeze” (that one is 190 proof). Basically a boozy, grown-up Slurpee. Essential for keeping cool. Go slow. Brain-freeze is bad enough; alcoholic brain-freeze is worse.
• Sno-Balls – Not the Hostess marshmallow cake thing. An amazing frosty treat. NOT a snow-cone. Snow-cones are nasty, chunky bits of angry ice (and possibly broken glass and/or rock salt) with gross chemical coloring that sinks to the bottom of the cup leaving you with nothing but toothaches and disappointment. Sno-Balls are shaved ice, literally the texture of snow with delicious cane sugar syrups in different flavors that totally absorb into the ice. Ask for one “with stuff”, and what they’ll do is fill your cup half with shaved ice and flavoring, then a shot of soft-serve, then more ice/flavoring on top. Ask for it “Topped” and they’ll drizzle condensed milk over it. Damn.
• Bourbon Street vs. Frenchmen Street = NYC Times Square vs. The Village… this basically sums up the difference. Frenchmen is where the locals go.
• Café du Monde  (800 Decatur; the “French Market” area) - Seriously, if you go to NOLA and don’t go here for beignets & café au lait… you are missing out on life. It’s open 24 hours (rare for the area), so it’s a great late-night spot after the crowds die down. Also, they make the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. It’s like someone just melted a Godiva bar in a cup and put whipped cream on top. Beignets come 3 to an order and this is the ONLY place you should get them. These are the original and real deal. Often imitated; never replicated. It’s right along the River, across from Jackson Square.
• Jackson Square – The area of the pedestrian mall between the Mississippi river and St. Louis Cathedral. One of the most beautiful and certainly the most iconic areas in town and you should definitely stroll through it. There are generally street musicians, performance artists, and art vendors out selling their wares. In the evening they usually have fortune-tellers and palm-readers out on the walkways. Go walk around with your open container!
• Louisiana Swamp Tour – ask for Capt. Reggie Dumaine’s tour. You can either drive out to their location or meet at various pick-up locations in town. Swamp Tour != Airboat. Those things are noisy and splashy and only fun for like 5 minutes. Swamp tours are slow-sailing covered boats with a guide; tons of fun!
• Cemetery Tours – You can pay for an official tour, or go walk around on your own. (I walked around on my own for an hour or two and actually overheard like 3 different tours unintentionally!). Try to see Marie Laveaux’s tomb at St. Louis Cemetery #1. Oh, and don’t take her picture. She’ll hex you if you do. Cameras are a big no-no in voodoo culture J.
• 3 for 1 at many different bars all over Bourbon. Yes, please and thank you.
• Pat O’Brien’s (624 Bourbon) -  Definitely go here… a tourist destination but for good reason. There are actually several different locations, but this one is the Courtyard; that’s the experience you want. The courtyard has a big flaming water fountain, which is awesome. And they give you popcorn at your table! Pro Tip: When you get a hurricane (and you should absolutely do that), those mother f’ers charge you for the actual glass the drink comes in (whaaaat?!) The glass is a souvenir glass, but they don’t really tell anyone that; they just expect people will try to sneak them out, so they add that to the price of the drink. I mean, if you want it it’s a good deal and don’t feel guilty or worry about sneaking it out… but otherwise when you are done drinking, there is a bar on the side of the patio where you can return the glass and get a few bucks back. And you know what that extra $$ pays for, right? More 3 for 1’s! Also, they’ll try to hawk photos at you… someone will come around and ask to take your picture then charge like $10 if you want it. Again, not bad if you want the souvenir but just something to know ahead of time.
• Armstrong Park is on Rampart Street just off of Canal Street (the main strip through the Central Business District bordering the French Quarter; lots of shops/hotels there). Cool place to walk around in/explore. Rampart Street can be a little… “interesting” with some of characters that hang out nearby, especially after dusk. You’ll be fine. Just be mindful.
• There is a main street called Tchoupitoulas… know how to pronounce it. Impress the locals. “CHOP-a-TOO-less”.
• Cabs are somewhat common in the city, but just in case you’re out and about or off the beaten path and don’t see any… United Cabs is 504-522-9771.
• Hand Grenades. Called “The official drink of Bourbon Street”. Only sold at Tropical Isle locations. Comes in a stupid neon green plastic cup with a smiley-faced little bastard of a grenade at the bottom; he’s mocking you. Sweet. Strong. Doesn’t taste like booze. Hits you later. Really sweet. 2, max before your pancreas gives out and you get “the ‘beetus”.

 

Bands

You can’t go wrong with any music in NOLA, so I’m not even going to make a real list. Find bands with the best names (Like “The Zion Harmonizers”, “Sleepy Man Banjo Boys”, or “Washboard and Dirty Rice”) and go see them. However, you really aren’t experiencing NOLA if you don’t see at least one brass band. If you see any of these advertised anywhere, make sure to check out Rebirth Brass Band, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, Dirty Dozen Brass Band, or Hot 8 Brass Band; and Kermit Ruffins (If you’ve ever seen the show Treme on HBO, he performs the theme song). They’re crazy fun. On the more mellow side of things John Boutte is amazing. I swear that man’s voice will cut through to your DNA. Worth a trip to hear him sing if he’s performing while you’re there.

Bars/Lounges/Music

Like I said above, you've got 2 main drags in the French Quarter... Bourbon Street and Frenchmen Street. Bourbon is loud, garish, touristy, crazy, and awesome. Most places have a balcony you can go out on for that whole Mardi Gras experience. Frenchmen is more subdued and where the locals go for good live music. More lounges there as opposed to the clubs on Bourbon. There are also shops and restaurants there that are great! And, due to the large number of music venues on the street, you'll find that musicians will sometimes hop from place to place to play a set, and oftentimes a bunch will get together and just jam on the corner. I've seen groups of 8-10 guys pick up and play for the crowd. It’s a real treat. Toss a buck or two at them... they're ridiculously talented :)

The best move is to just walk down the street and pop into a place that looks interesting. Have a drink and enjoy a set by the band then move on to the next place. Always keep some singles and fives on you… most places are no cover to enter, but the band will usually pass a bucket around once per set; they oftentimes don’t get paid much (if at all) by the smaller venues, so they rely on collections from the audience. You don’t want to be “that guy” that has no cash. Also it’s good form to order a drink per set from the bar, too. You’ll look like a local, and they’ll really appreciate it.  

• Spotted Cat Music Club   (623 Frenchmen St) – really fun little place; no cover and great local bands. Oh, and look in the ladies’ room. It’s… random.
• dba  (618 Frenchmen Street)  - The same dba as in NYC, except better. No cover if you’re early, so if you’re there before 9, slip in for a drink and stay for the band! Great beer and wine selection, large selection of whiskies, too. The left side is the stage and the right side is the bar/lounge area. They have window-booths also, which is fun.
• Café Negril -  One of my faves on Frenchmen. Great music, AND they have a small kitchen next to the bar that makes seriously legit Mexican. It’s next to a tattoo parlor, so it’s really convenient for making poor life choices after drinking too much ;)
• Jean La Fitte’s Blacksmith Shop - (941 Bourbon Street) The strongest Hurricanes in NOLA; not as fancy as Pat O’s but packs a mean punch. They claim to be the oldest bar in the country, and it feels like it. Super dark in there… I think one candle lights the whole place. Watch your step, drunkies! There’s a nice outdoor patio area if you’re feeling cramped inside. It’s towards the end of Bourbon, and often you can catch a wedding parade, a jazz funeral, or second line. Join in if you see one… it’s a blast. I wound up in some couple’s wedding parade once, and it was some of the most fun I’ve had on Bourbon.
• The Howlin’ Wolf (907 South Peters) - Great music place. They often get bigger names to play there (the likes of Harry Connick, Jr, Barenaked Ladies, Foo Fighters, etc!). Usually a $5 or $10 cover.
• Rock n Bowl  (3000 S Carrollton Ave) - I know… weird, I’m recommending a bowling alley, but they actually have great live music/bands. And bowling is even more fun with live music! You’ll probably need to cab this one.
• Cat’s Meow (701 Bourbon) – Fun Karaoke bar. 2 floors; downstairs is more crowded/boisterous. Upstairs is less crowded and more lounge-y with couches etc., but there’s an indoor balcony to look down and see the performances below. Highly amusing! Bars on each floor, and the 2^nd floor has a cool balcony overlooking Bourbon. Toss some beads!
• St. Joe’s Bar (5535 Magazine Street) - Go here. The bar is awkwardly long and narrow with a pool table in the center, but you’re here for the patio. It’s all about the patio. It is open-air, but the bar area is covered in case of a shower. Order the blueberry mojitos…seriously. Made fresh on the spot, nothing pre-fab here so expect it to take a few minutes to get your drink, especially if someone else ordered some before you did. Totally worth the wait. It’s a little outside of town; you’ll have to cab it/drive there but absolutely worth it. Perfect cool-down after a long day out adventuring/eating. It’s a little ways down the road from one of my favorite places to eat! Which brings us to….

Restaurants!

• Juan’s Flying Burrito (2018 Magazine St, Lower Garden District) - This is another “Go here. No, really… Go here.” place. My God. THE freshest, best, Mexican food you’ve ever had. I go multiple times per trip. You want to go to this location specifically; there’s a smaller/take-out only place in the Business District, but it isn’t the same. You’ll need to cab/drive here; too far to walk. But your taste buds will thank me. The places is small and funky. Lots of local art on the walls, and all of it is for sale if you like it. Even the chandeliers. If the weather is favorable ask if the back patio is open to sit out & eat there. Also, probably the best margaritas I’ve ever had. They have all kinds of fancy ones with high-end tequilas, but you don’t need that nonsense. They also have frozen ones, but those are pre-made in a machine with syrup. Not as good, and fixed amount of booze. Do yourselves a favor and just order a “House, Rocks… Pitcher” and split it. You’ll end up saving money because you won’t want to have just one a piece.
• Deanie’s  (841 Iberville St, one block off Bourbon) Top-notch seafood restaurant. Nothing here is a bad choice. A reservation may not be necessary, but check beforehand if it’s in your plans. It’s in the Quarter so you can walk it, no prob. Bonus: They cook their potatoes in the crawfish boil… because, Old Bay :).
• Olde Coffee Pot (714 St. Peter; one block off Bourbon, right in the Quarter) - This is “Must go” place. Amazing breakfast spot; get the Lost Bread. I didn’t know it was possible for French Toast to be even more delicious, but they nail it with this one (they use po-boy bread!). “Callas cakes” are friggin’ amazing, too. Get an order to split.
• Cooter Brown’s (509 S Carrollton Ave) - I wasn’t sure if I should put this under bar or restaurant because it’s kind of both. Lots of beers here. Like… really. Lots. Many on tap, and a TON more in a wall of refrigerators behind the bar. They take their beer seriously. Maybe don’t order a Coors Light here J. Food is great; some of the best oysters in town. Also, you can get gator here as an appetizer. As a restaurant it’s a little wonky. When you walk in the menu is on the wall in a room off to your right where you’ll place your order and pay. You can then go grab a seat anywhere you want in the bar/table area and they’ll call your number to pick up your food when it’s ready. Try the corn nuggets. It’s a fun place that I go at least once each time I’m in town. And they have satellite TVs with all major games in case there’s something you want to catch that isn’t local. You’ll need to cab or drive here, but it’s a short ride.
• Elizabeth’s  - (601 Gallier St., in the Bywater neighborhood). They’re famous for their praline bacon and smoked onion rings. This place is a hidden gem in a basically residential neighborhood. Everything is locally sourced so it’s super fresh. Fried green tomatoes are great, too! This one’s a cab ride too, but Bywater is a funky little neighborhood to explore. (Vaughn’s Lounge is nearby, great dive-bar/live music joint, Kermit Ruffins frequently plays here)
• Praline Connection (542 Frenchmen Street) – This is right in the heart of Frenchmen Street I mentioned earlier, at the main intersection. Not a bad place to start your evening with dinner before catching some bands down the strip. If you had an old Southern grandma, this is what she’d be feeding you. Good comfort food and huge helpings of it. The mac and cheese is incredible. Fried Okra, Cornbread, Grits, it’s all here.
• Mother’s  (401 Poydras) – This is just down the street from our office at 909 Poydras. Legendary po-boys. The shrimp one is popular (choice of fried or grilled), as is one called “The Ferdi” You can get “debris” on anything… it is basically all the little bits and pieces left over from the carving stations that have been soaking in au jus… or more simply “magic flavor stuff”. Good spot for lunch. It is just outside of the Quarter at the edge of the Central Business District.
• Brennan’s (417 Royal) - Fancier/higher-end place; and a little pricier but worth every penny. Might need a reservation. Brunch is the play here… It’s an event. And it can only be described as “decadent”. Honestly. My cholesterol rose 6 points just thinking about it. Wine with breakfast is not only not out of the ordinary here, but strongly encouraged. Yum. Oh, and they invented Bananas Foster here, so get that for dessert. Double Yum.
• Port of Call -  (838 Esplanade Ave; right off Bourbon, near Frenchmen) “Best burger in New Orleans”. I (obviously) can’t verify first hand… but I’ve been told it isn’t an exaggeration. They also offer something called the Monsoon. This I can vouch for personally. Goddamn. As the name implies… it makes a Hurricane look weak in comparison. One of these is plenty… don’t be a hero.